Beavers are magical, wonderful creatures! You must agree with me at least a little if you’re on my site. We build entire ecosystems using nothing but our own paws and teeth! We live in tight family groups for a long time, which is pretty uncommon for most rodents! And, above all, we poop strawberries and vanilla!

Okay, that’s not entirely true, but we do produce a magical substance called castoreum to mark our territories. It’s sort of like how humans set up fences, really nice smelling fences! We administer it like skunks, secreting it from our castor sacs and wiping it, mixed with urine, onto trees and rocks!

Today, you may know castoreum by a different name: natural flavoring! It’s usually found as a vanilla or fruit substitute in ice cream, candy, sports drinks, toothpaste, mouthwash and beyond! Apparently the FDA has no qualms with this, just like how ground-up cochineal bugs constitute “natural coloring.”

This is nothing new, though! Castoreum has been consumed by humans since time immemorial, but the earliest mention that I know of in literature is by Pliny the Elder, who recommends castoreum in his 77 AD Historia Naturalis as a treatment for delirium, lethargy, vertigo, epilepsy, and more! In fact, humans nearly hunted us to extinction for our fur and our delicious butt juice!

Today, even though it is still used as flavoring and as a homeopathic remedy for anxiety, poor sleep, and menstrual trouble for women, harvesters of castoreum now take a much more humane approach. They anesthetize the beavers, give their bums a squeeze, and scoop up all the sticky brown goo that goes into your favorite desserts!

I really should consider this as a source of travel income. If interested in a fresh, all-natural, 100% organic sample, leave a comment below, and I’ll get back to you as soon as it’s marking time. Maybe I’ll give you a discount!