Beach Bum Beavering in Rio de Janeiro!


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Stop 11:
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

More 2015 Adventures

Bom dia, todos!

After a few weeks of ice and penguins, a full day of flying, and a liberal dowsing with insecticide on the plane, I have touched down in sunny Rio de Janeiro! (That’s Hee-yo de Janeiro, because in Brazilian Portuguese, all the r’s sound like h’s!)

This was the only day of my grand adventure that actually worried me, because plenty of folks told me online and aboard the Ortelius that if I went to Rio alone, I was bound to get mugged, robbed, or beaver-napped! It sure didn’t look too safe after I arrived at midnight and took a taxi into Lapa, where ladies of sickly repute lined the trash-strewn streets next to machine-gun toting police officers, but once I got inside the Hotel Villa Rica, I felt a little better. Even though I had a great view of a power generator, the room was spotless, and I did feel reasonably safe inside.

After four hours of sleep, I was up because I wanted to see the sun rise from Mirante Dona Marta. I hailed a taxi, but he didn’t understand that I wanted the safe vista point up near the Cristo Redentor. Instead, he tried to drop me off in the favela (slum) called Dona Marta! I may be able to get by in Spanish, but Brazilian Portuguese? No chance! So I missed the sunrise but got a few extra hours of sleep for what would be a very busy day!

My first stop, just up the street, was the Escaderia Selarón, or Selarón’s Staircase. These 250 magnificent steps connect Lapa to Santa Teresa and were hand-decorated by one Chilean artist: Jorge Selarón! Señor Selarón was a world traveler who settled in Rio de Janeiro back in 1983 and set up his home alongside a decrepit old staircase. From 1990 until 2013, he assembled this masterpiece from over 2,000 tiles he found and received from around the world!

A short distance down the stinky street, I found the Carioca Aqueduct, also known as the Arcos da Lapa! Built in 1723 by both African and native slaves, this fabulous structure was originally meant to distribute water across the city but also became a viaduct for the famous yellow cables cars that ran here from 1896 until 2011!

From the Arches of Lapa, I caught a taxi, thanks to a neat phone app called Easy Taxi, for my next big stop on my quest to see the 7 Wonders of the World: Cristo Redentor!

I had to get here as early as possible to see this wonderful 98-foot art deco statue, whose arms are wide open to embrace all visitors, and have been since 1931! It became a Wonder of the World by popular vote in 2007, since six of the old seven have been destroyed. Now, it stands upon Corcovado (“Hunchback Mountain”) where it towers over the Marvelous City by day and shines by night as the lights of the favelas rise up around it like fairies!

I got here at 8:30 in the morning and rode one of the first vans to the top. As always, I took the stairs instead of the elevator, and made it up just before the mad rush of visitors arrived. Within half an hour, this place was PACKED with people! I had to hop from head to head just to make it back to the entrance!

But even with all these people, the views of Rio de Janeiro are not to be beat! Despite its reputation for danger, Rio de Janeiro is a paradise of art and sport. Combine the two, and you get samba! This city blends seamlessly into the Parque Nacional Floresta da Tijuca, which surrounds the Cristo. It is one of the largest urban parks in the world! This puts Rio de Janeiro on the UNESCO World Heritage List as a precious place where human culture and the natural world blend together in excellent harmony!

I struggled to get a taxi out of here, because there’s no phone reception in Parque Tijuca! Without my Easy Taxi app, I had to resort to stumbling through Portuguese until I fell into a waiting cab nearby (you can hire them for a reasonable rate near the van loading area)! This took me down to the next famous district of Rio: Copacabana!

My first stop was the famous Copacabana Palace, which has accommodated many celebrities, and their scandals, since 1923! To call it elegant and lavish doesn’t do it justice! Not only is the architecture exquisite, but the service is so good that when the hotel caught fire in 1953, the staff kept serving fruity drinks to the guests while firefighters rushed all around to extinguish the blaze! I wasn’t able to afford much here, but the walk through the halls was glorious!

Since I was in a prime shopping area, I took a stroll through Copacabana to find some souvenirs and Solstice presents for friends back home, all the while making my best “Don’t Mug Me” face. Even though it was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, all of the storefronts proclaimed Black Friday, Black Weekend, and Black November deals! This country doesn’t even celebrate Thanksgiving, but it sure loves the idea of post-Thanksgiving sales!

From there, I set out down the famous black-and-white tiled walkway of Copacabana Beach, humming Barry Manilow’s hit tune and wearing the largest piece of clothing on the beach! It was a busy day for beachgoers. Swimmers and paddle boarders were out en masse, and on shore, dozens of snack bars and plain bars served up coconuts and caipirinhas by the gross! The weather was warm and wonderful, so I let myself stroll!

Right as one song ended and right before the next song began, I arrived at Forte de Copacabana! From 1914 until 1947, this was the most modern military fort in South America with powerful cannons made in Germany! This was the epicenter of the famed Revolt of 18 on July 5, 1922, when 18 soldiers stationed here revolted against the president, who probably fixed the recent election and arrested their leader for criticizing him!

Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough reais for a cash-only admission and could not do much more than admire the outside gate before moving on to the next beach.

Full of sand, so long and lovely, the Beach of Ipanema was calling! Just as crowded as Copacabana but strictly watched by the police, I couldn’t help but lighten my step to the bossa nova tune of The Girl from Ipanema, which had taken over for Barry Manilow in my head!

This beach is divided by lifeguard stations numbered 7-10, and different “tribes” of people gather at these spots. If I were to describe them in California terms, 7 is Malibu, 8 is West Hollywood, 9 is Venice Beach, and 10 is Beverly Hills! I could have had a nice time relaxing at any one of them, but I took my snooze with Tribe 7 because 7 is a lucky number and there were lots of police there. I didn’t want to take any chances with my camera!

After a delicious buffet lunch in Leblon, with my favorite fried plantains, I was ready for the last leg of my adventure: a hike up the famed two-peaked mountain, Dois Irmãos!

To get to the trailhead, I had to walk all the way down through Leblon and a mile up a super-steep road through the favela of Vidigal because I only had enough reais left to pay for either a motorcycle ride up, a ride down, or a bottle of water! I don’t have any pictures from Vidigal, because I was warned not to show off my camera in a slum, but it was steep, dirty, and yet full of people gathering, chatting, working, and watching sports, like normal. I never once felt uncomfortable, except for the heat and the aching in my legs!

I had a hard time finding the trailhead and had to bungle through some Portuguese questions for how to find “a trilha de Dois Irmãos,” but at last, a nice motorcyclist pointed it out: tucked behind a fence, behind some outdoor chess tables, behind a soccer field! By this point, I was tired, hot, and panting, and I still had a long, steep climb ahead of me with only an hour and a half to get to the top, enjoy the view, and get back down to the bottom of the favela to catch a taxi back to the airport!

The trail to the top was so lovely. The foliage was so green and lush, and little glimpses of the sprawling city blazed through the branches! If I’d only had more time, I could have enjoyed the shade and recharged. I could have played with the marmosets who were eating bananas out of the hands of some Italian tourists! Truth be told, though, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS HIKE!

I had come into this trip prepared for cold, and the heat of Rio caught me completely off guard! Normally, I can cruise up mountains like this one lickety-split, but today, I was taking breaks to catch my breath every five minutes. It was torture to pass the little refreshments station midway up, since I would soon need to buy that ride down in order to get back to the airport, but I kept on, because I am one stubborn beaver!

At last, after scrambling over rocks and again watching the vultures circle below me, I reached the summit and gazed out on an incredible view of both beaches, the Cristo, Sugarloaf Mountain, and Guanabara Bay! The view showed me so many places that I could explore in this magnificent city, which means I will definitely have to come back some time!

Lots of folks, and their dogs, had reached this summit, and one of them, an exchange student named Tanik, was super generous and bought me a bottle of water from the tent on the summit. That brought me right back to life, which was good, because it was 5:00, and I had to get down to the bottom of Vidigal by 5:30 if I wanted to make my flight! So, I jogged down the mountain, shoved my last R$5 into the hand of a motorcyclist, and careened down through Vidigal, clutching his back over bumps and around cars and pedestrians in one death-defying descent that I’ll never forget!

Dazed, I used the last 1% battery life on my phone to summon a taxi, who picked me up and drove me all across the city to the airport, where I snatched my luggage from the lockers and raced to check in for my connecting flight to São Paolo! That meant I had no time to eat dinner, and I was hot, tired, and wanted nothing more than to sleep for a long, long flight!

Then my flight to São Paolo got delayed, which made me miss my connection back to LA. The ladies at the counter directed me to pick up my bag and try another airline. PANIC! So I ran downstairs to find the Lost Luggage room, which neither concessionaires nor security guards knew anything about. I finally found the room tucked back in a far, far corner of the bottom level, grabbed my bag and ran up to the TAM Airlines counter.

By this point, I was way too tired to try Portuguese, but the TAM reps were helpful enough to send me to their ticketing counter. Luckily, since it was pushing 10:00 PM, the lines were not too long. They booked me on a United flight through Houston, but I would have to hurry in order to make it!

That left me running full-bore down the airport, dragging my bag, which had to be wrapped up in plastic and wasn’t rolling right, to the United counter in the next terminal, where they gave me my ticket to the tune of “Obrigado, Obrigado, Obrigado!” and sent me on my way!

I stood in a long passport checking line, then a long line at the gate, and then, at last, I was on a plane, ready to sleep. I reached up to put my hat away, only to realize that I must have forgotten my hat in security! Oh no! I hope it finds its way to a beach somewhere in sunny, amazing Rio de Janeiro!

Até a próxima viagem!



Previous Stage
Stop 11:
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

More 2015 Adventures

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