A wise man named Paul Wolff once said, “Writing is like riding a horse to Santa Barbara. A good horse can take us there pretty smoothly, but most horses end up lost in Fillmore, pursued by the mafia and aliens.” So, I decided to see if it was true. Could I get from Los Angeles to the beaches of Santa Barbara without getting lost in Fillmore or distracted by aliens, mafiosos, or curmudgeonly cormorants? Well…
 |
I couldn’t find a horse willing to take me the full hundred miles, so I ended up hitchhiking. This took me up along the 126 freeway, where there are so many things to see! There’s Lake Piru and the Sespe Condor Sanctuary… Suddenly, a mighty wind picked up and blew me into the train town of Fillmore.
 |
At first I was a bit scared to find myself in Fillmore. I mean, what is there to see in Fillmore of all places? Well, there are trains, trains, and a couple of other trains to see. Actually, since the town was founded by the Southern Pacific Railroad company, that’s pretty much the origin and terminus of Fillmore’s history. There is a whole mall of old trains surrounding City Hall! You can walk around them, shop in them, and even have lunch inside! But time was pressing, and Santa Barbara was calling. No matter how great these trains were, I had to stay on track!
|
 |
Continuing down the 126 past Santa Paula and its two landmarks (Union Oil Company Building and the Portolá Camp) I arrived in Ventura. Ventura holds a special place in my heart. The last time I visited, I was helping a friend who was feeling very, very sad. I’ve found that, when your heart is in the dumps, hug a beaver! You’ll feel much better. I promise. Anyway, Ventura has some gorgeous state beaches, from which you can see Channel Islands National Park! There is a visitor center in town with lots of information on the islands. I learned I won’t be able to see the elephant seals on San Miguel Island, boats don’t go out during the winter when they’re there… Oh well.
 |
Not to be put off, I made some quick stops at local landmarks, like the Olivas Adobe, which was owned by Raymundo Olivas and is reported to be haunted! Maybe it has to do with the fact that, even though there are photos of his entire family, no photo exists of Raymundo himself! He can’t cross over until someone takes his picture! That reminds me! I still have unfinished business in Santa Barbara! Onward!
 |
 |
Oh, but Carpinteria is home to Landmark #535: La Carpintería and the Indian Village of Mishopshnow! What’s so special about this landmark, apart from it designating the site where Portolá stumbled upon some local Chumash builders constructing canoes from logs and thought it looked like a carpintería, or carpentry shop? Well, not only is it a two-parter, but it is also my 100th landmark! This is a momentous moment! Is that redundant? No matter, I’m now 1/11th of the way to seeing all the landmarks! Yippee!
 |
There was a lot of traffic between Carpinteria and Santa Barbara. I mean a lot, like a parking lot. At least it was right on the coast. There are worse places to sit in traffic, I assure you, but this was just one more obstacle that I was not expecting on a Sunday. No matter, it wasn’t long before the sunny beaches were just ahead, but first, I had some other things to see, like the Mission Santa Barbara!
 |
This is an absolutely stunning piece of architecture, which arose after the passing of my partner in crime from another lifetime, Father Serra (a great builder and therefore respected by all beavers). Nestled within its walls is the gravesite of a Chumash woman known as Juana María, who was stranded for 18 years on San Nicolas Island after her people were taken to the mainland to evade hostile Russian otter hunters. You may know her better as the main character of Island of the Blue Dolphins. Her grave is unmarked, but it is good to pay one’s respects to a woman who endured years of life in the type of isolation that most other people devote all of their waking energy to avoid!
 |
I finally made it to the beach as the sun was setting. There was an art fair stretching along the sidewalk and a bustling crowd of carts and segways zooming about. There’s a lovely harbor with a pier where the pelicans roost. I watched the sunset there for quite a while, which is good for the soul. There is so much to see in Santa Barbara, so much to learn, and yet I’ve barely scratched the surface! There is much to be said for the journey, so long as it is going somewhere. You can have aliens in your story. You can have the mafia. Just make sure they meet you at the sunset. Oh, and watch out for curmudgeonly cormorants! They’re always trying to lead you astray!
FADE OUT,