 Previous Day |
Vienna, VA → Washington, DC → Vienna, VA 32.8 mi (52.8 km) |
 More 2026 Adventures |
What a sight to DC, everyone!
Now that I’ve checked off the three Middle Finger Monuments, I’m back in our nation’s capital one week before a grand semiquintennial anniversary celebration. Yes folks, the USA is turning 250 in two weeks, and Washington, DC couldn’t be more… in disarray! For starters, there are not one, but two organizations in direct competition with each other to make the biggest, best bash. First, there’s America250, a national, nonpartisan organization convened by Congress in 2016 to celebrate this milestone through civic engagement, historic programs, and volunteering. Then there’s Freedom 250, kicked off by Executive Order 14189 on January 29, 2025 and centered on massive entertainment spectacles in DC itself. As you might imagine, having two major government-sponsored organizations with programs and décor all over the capital has caused some confusion, but none so much as the “renovation” of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool!
 |
Back in April, Donald Trump awarded a no-bid contract to a donor of his, John J. Cafaro, to repaint the bottom of the pool “American flag blue.” It was supposed to take two weeks! In May, he drove his whole motorcade over the newly finished coating, proclaiming it would last for a century, but a few days later, the “American flag blue” pool filled with bright green algae, and the quickly installed paint, untested for summer heat and motorcades, began to peel! Thus, the two-week project turned into two months, the budget ballooned from $1.5 million to $16 million, and the president blamed… vandalism?
 |
Now granted, I was very tempted to snag a piece of peeled paint for a souvenir, but I have never in my life, outside the Black Lives Matter protests in 2020, seen so many law enforcement and military personnel all gathered around a single place! Park Police, Metro PD, Park Service Rangers, National Guard, all loitering around the pool making sure no one… took any pieces of peeled paint on pain of… expensive inconvenience? Yes! What could have been an easygoing day of listening to the musicians celebrating Wianki, the Polish Festival of Wreaths, had turned into a real head scratcher!
 |
But no matter! I met up with my friend, Rose, and together, we went to watch the DC Pride Parade together, featuring appearances by the Wegmans Supermarket Chain and DC Water’s mascot, Wendy the Waterdrop! Not far away from the pen that crossed the T out of LGBT in all federal communications and at Stonewall National Monument, swathes of rainbow-clad celebrants were still marching, cheering, and sweating their way through this storied city, embodying this year’s theme: Exist. Resist. Have the Audacity!
 |
And yep, this city sure has changed since the last time I was here! Crews were still in the process of taking down one of the Freedom 250 mini venues: an enormous cage that housed a UFC fight on Donald Trump’s 80th birthday! Zoomed in, it’s hard to see just how colossal this structure was, visible for many blocks, but big and garish have been the hallmarks of this administration. I won’t even get started on the demolition of the entire East Wing to build a monster ballroom!
 |
But it is wild, each time I come back to DC, to see how far back the public keeps getting pushed from the White House. Even just comparing two years’ time, you can see how tiny the presidential home is getting in the frame, and how much more space and fencing stand between the public and their leader! Likewise, as we walked to the Mall to see the bleachers being set up for the so-called Great American State Fair, there were huge fences pushing folks off the Mall and into the street just to go between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial! There was no reason for it. They could have spared ten feet on either end so folks walking the Mall could, ya know, walk the Mall!
 2024 |
 2026 |
Anyway, the chaos happening over here got me a little nostalgic, so after a nosh with Rose, I headed south into Vienna. Before meeting up with my friends, the Dinsdales, I detoured over to the Meadowlark Botanical Gardens to see the Korean Bell Garden, the first of its kind in the Western Hemisphere! It was watched over by four jangseung, or guardian totem poles. The two on the left were the male guardian, Cheonhadaejanggun, and the female guardian, Jihayeojanggun, while the two on the right just said “Korean Bell Garden!” Well, technically, the one on the right was just a literal transliteration—Korean Bel Gadeun!
 |
These wooden guardians had help from two dol hareubang statues, carved from the volcanic rock of Jeju Island and now warding off evil from this Virginia botanical garden! Their name literally translates to “stone grandpas!”
 |
But the centerpiece of this garden was the enormous—and at 7.5 feet and 6,000 pounds, I mean enormous—Bell of Peace and Harmony, which was installed here in 2012 as a symbol of the enduring friendship between the USA and South Korea! A masterwork by Won Kwang-sik, it has many traditional symbols of longevity, like turtles, pine trees, and the sun, but it’s super unique in that it has the national flower of Korea, the mugunghwa alongside the dogwood, Virginia’s state flower! No one was around to ring it today, but I read later that it takes a whole log to ring the bell once and that each toll reverberates for 3 minutes! What’s crazy is that next April, it will have been a decade since I visited Incheon! I’ll have to call Mom when I get back to LA.
 |
I strolled around the Meadowlark Botanical Gardens, enjoying the beauty and whimsy all in one place. Back in 1980, Caroline Ware and Gardiner (yes, Gardiner) Means donated their 74-acre farm to be a park and botanical garden, preserving its beauty for Northern Virginians in perpetuity! There were gardens for bonsais and butterflies and day lilies. There was even a garden dedicated to fairies! They were pretty sleepy, though. Or were they? No matter how it appeared, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being watched!
 |
 |
Some familiar jabbering behind me caused me to whirl around, and who should I behold, but my friends, Penguin, Jr. and Penguin III! What were they doing here? Well, as you may imagine, they were on another super high-stakes mission, just like the last time I saw them, and once again, it involved their evil brethren, the Rogue Penguins! It was equal parts chance and destiny that they were here. They were trying to figure out what a “dead drop” was! I knew from my visit to the Spy Museum a few years ago, but I’d need to get online to narrow it down.
I spent the night at Piggy House, and while I did get a lead on a possible “dead drop,” I barely got any sleep. Turns out, the dead have dropped in on the Dinsdales! I wish Dudley had mentioned this so I could bring ear plugs! Oof, I tossed and turned all night while these ghost bears rehearsed some sort of spectral opera. I hope I’ll be conscious enough tomorrow to get the Penguins the answers they’re looking for.
Yaaaawn… The next morning, we made it to the “dead drop” spot: Foxstone Park, infamously associated with the espionage of rogue FBI agent, Robert Hanssen, from 1979 until 2001! He’d used this very sign to signal his Soviet customers that he’d left them something covert. A vertical piece of medical tape meant something was waiting for them under the bridge! Rogue agent? Rogue penguins. It all made sense!
 |
Even though Mr. Hanssen was arrested 25 years ago, there was still something spooky about going to his “dead drop,” marked ominously by chains and a “No Trespassing” sign next to the bike path. It sure was quiet over here, minus the occasional biker using aforementioned bike path. But we were not otherwise interrupted as we reached the site formerly codenamed ELLIS, where 6,000 classified documents found their way into Russian hands!
 |
 |
Each of the planks had a number on it: a code! I’m not a code cracker, per se, and neither were the Penguins, but then Penguin III started waving his flippers and mysteriously repeating “6-7.” Was he possessed by ghost bears? Was he secretly a rogue sleeper agent? What the heck was “6-7?!”
 |
Suddenly, Penguin III lost his balance and tumbled over the edge! Whether it was cosmic forces or just the consequence of fooling around, I couldn’t say. We didn’t have time to debate, only jump and reach for his feet!
 |
Phew! We caught him just in the nick of time! But for some reason, he wouldn’t let us pull him up. Instead, he twisted and looked and reached!
 |
Sure enough, he spotted something tucked away under the bridge! Penguin, Jr. and I lowered him down until he called back that something was written inside! Had we interrupted the rogue penguins’ diabolical plan yet again?! Further analysis would be necessary. We pulled Penguin III back up, as he kept reciting the words he’d read so he wouldn’t forget them, and left ELLIS-6-7 behind in history.
 |
Back at Piggy House, I had to reveal my original business at last. While I love coming to visit the Dinsdales and Penguins, I was here this time to ask for a miracle. I always thought the Penguins were responsible for jury-rigging coffee makers into teleporters, but no! They were expert users of polar bear technology! So I got to meet these very enthusiastic and kind of dodgy polar bears, whose work I’d used and never credited before! I wanted to know if they could build me a massive-scale teleporter, one that could bring a bunch of folks through at once. They said it wouldn’t be a problem and gave me the firmest bear handshake I’ve ever felt! They’d send their associate on ahead to coordinate with me, and then, suddenly a little lighter, I got in the teleporter I’d used before, and they sent me home.
But wait! I left my hat! Before I could turn around, the teleporter switched off. Dang it. I’d have to call Dudley and see if he could ship it to me fast! As I stomped off grumbling, suddenly, the teleporter whirred back to life, and the Penguins stumbled through, my hat in tow! Plus, they brought the secret message, transcribed from Penguin III’s brain onto paper. I hope he didn’t miss any details. Well, while we’re all here, let’s see if we can solve it.
Oh gosh, what if the rogue penguins come here? Two penguins are enough to keep track of, but a whole flock? Let’s get this cipher solved as soon as possible and send those rogues back to Penguin Jail before it’s too late!
DCode you late
Second Finger |
Total Ground Covered: 404.8 mi (651.4 km) |
More 2026 Adventures |